Fighting

Welcome to another episode of The "D" List.

Today's review is Fighting. Supposedly written by Robert Munic and Dito Montiel. (Yes I said supposedly written. I'll get into why I say that shortly) and Directed by Dito Montiel.

I will begin by saying this. Making movies is a tough business. Hollywood is brutal, ruthless and unforgiving. She will cut you down to your knees and make you tuck tail and run home to mommy if you can't take the heat. Having said that, I consider ANY film that gets made a tremendous achievement worthy of some sense of pride. But if that same sense of pride prevents you from realizing the truth (that your film BITES THE BIG ONE!!!!) then HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!!!!

As I eluded to in my last review I labeled this "film" as the worst movie I have ever seen in the history of my life. I am here to tell you that I still stand by that statement. Before I get into what made this JOKE of a film so bad. I would like to talk about how valuable my service as a movie reviewer is to all of you.

I have come to the conclusion that I am certifiably INSANE! If you all wonder why I say that. Allow me to define insanity.

Insanity - When a person continues to do the same activity, getting the exact same result each time but still expects a different outcome.

Well ladies and gentlemen.....That's ME!!!!! I continue to go to these HORRIBLE movies KNOWING that they are going to suck but still expecting to be surprised. Well the joke's on me and I guess I deserve to be punished for my stupidity.

The point of this ramble is to remind all of you that since I continue to venture out and see these poor excuses of entertainment (while losing I.Q. points in the process mind you) I am falling on the preverbal sword for the rest of you. By warning you ahead of time to save your money and not waste your time. So I hope you all appreciate what I am doing because this is really painful stuff man.

All kidding aside let's begin breaking down what made this film an atrocity to the eyes.

The story of Fighting (if you can find one) revolves around Shawn MacArthur played by Channing Tatum. (The dude from the Step Up dance movies) He's "recruited" by Harvey Boarden played by Terrence Howard to join his rag tag crew to partake in underground fights.

That's the basic plot and when I say basic I MEAN JUST THAT!

Now on to what's wrong with this "movie." 

Fighting does a terrible job with the main characters backstory. Oh wait. THEY DON'T HAVE ONE! They elude to what brought them all together without really explaining anything. For example.

Shawn clearly has fighting ability which is why Harvey wants him to join his crew but you NEVER find out how be got that way. They just mention that he used to wrestle in high school for his father and that's it. VERY WEAK!

They establish that Harvey was once a major player in the underground fighting world with his former partners (who are still big in the game) but you NEVER see or find out why Harvey was aced out of the partnership. You just see him as a low rent hustler trying to get back on his feet.

Going back to the backstory problem. Once Shawn gets into the fight game he crosses paths with the man that will end up becoming his "villain." A former teammate on the wrestling team. Evan Hailey played by Brian White. They try and dish out a little nugget as to where this dude comes from and why he and Shawn are not friends but it once again comes off as underdeveloped and cheap. Plus the writing as a whole is so UNBELIEVABLY LAME you don't care or worse UNDERSTAND why they hate each other because there isn't a real reason for the 2 of them to be at odds with each other. It never makes any sense why they are enemies.

Now onto the girl. As we all know there's always a girl in these movies and Fighting has one as well. Zulay Valez played by Zulay Henao. On the plus side she's very pretty and that's about it. Her character is underdeveloped and a literal throw away. Her character was totally USELESS with the exception of the hot chick factor.

OK. The characters are covered for the most part. The next issue is the "script" if there really was one. Fighting is so jumbled that there is no pacing, no continuity and above all no feasibility. I know in a movie like this that suspension of disbelief is required. But you MUST and I can't stress that enough. YOU MUST give these people a REASON to do what they are doing. Otherwise you have a mess of a story which is exactly what this movie is. A MESS!!!!

The best example is when Shawn tries to hook up with Zulay and she rejects him every time until finally she goes out with him. The date is awkward and she looks disinterested so you get the feeling that it was just a pity date. Then later in the film Shawn and Evan get into a little scrap and out of nowhere Zulay steps in to stop the fight and she takes him home with her.

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The dialogue is so cheesy and poorly constructed that my 4 year old niece's scribbles look more like Shakespeare wordplay in comparison. There is SO MUCH dead space between lines in certain scenes that you can actually see the actor's comfort level drop before your eyes. They just sit there staring at each other waiting for the director to yell CUT!!!!

That's also a tell tale sing of bad editing. Something I think I know a little about. If your script is lacking dialogue and your not smart enough to WRITE MORE! Which Munic and Montiel  clearly weren't. You CUT OUT OF THE AWKWARD PAUSES BETWEEN LINES!!!!!! This is basic stuff here people. You tighten up those gaps and the scene plays faster with a less uneasy feeling.

OK. The script or whatever you want to call is covered.

I know you're dying to ask this question. "OK Damien. You hated the script, the dialogue and the characters. But what about the fights?"

And my response is this.

I can't call them fight scenes because THERE'S NO FIGHTING!!!!! I can't for the life of me understand why Hollywood insists on having fight scenes in movies that are choreographed in the edit room rather than on set. The fights in this film are so chopped up that you can't get a feel for what's going on. You also can't SEE what's going on either because the fights are shot so tight on the actors. This film at the least had the potential of having kick ass fights and THEY FAILED THERE TOO!!!!!!! THE FILM IS CALLED FIGHTING!!!!!! common sense would dictate that there would be some cool fights but alas HELL NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah I almost forgot. Shawn obviously wins his fights but NEVER TRAINS FOR THEM!!!!!! GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!! Do you expect me to believe that this guy kicks everyone's ass without stepping into a gym, hitting a punching bag or lifting weights? Not even a Rocky like jog through the city.

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is so much more that I can rip this film on but I'm tired of writing about this EMBARRASSMENT TO ALL FILMS EVERYWHERE!!!!!

On the 5 star scale Fighting get a NEGATIVE ZERO!!!!!!!!! Zero is not low enough for this waste of 90 minutes. And obviously it gets a big time "Save the Loot" recommendation. In fact I BEG EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.......STAY HOME!!!!!! I wouldn't send my worst enemy to see this movie as a form of punishment. I am ashamed and more importantly FURIOUS that I lost close to 2 hrs of my life watching this UNGODLY ABOMINATION!!!!!!!!!

Whew!!!! I feel much better now that I got that off my chest. And there's good news to come.

My next review is Sugar. A terrific independent baseball movie that sadly is not getting the attention it should. Followed by Star Trek that I hope to catch this weekend.

That's all for today folks.

Until Next Episode.....I'll Save You A Seat!

"D"