Obsessed

Welcome to another episode of the "D" List.

Today's review is Obsessed. Written by David Loughery and directed by Steve Shill.

As I eluded in my Star Trek review this film is Fatal Attraction without the Fatal or the Attraction. I need to amend that statement right now. To put Fatal Attraction in the same breath as this horrendous knock off is an insult to that classic thriller.

I know what you must be thinking. Why in the world would I see this movie in the 1st place? In reality I wouldn't but this was a mother's day request. I told mom I would take her to the movies and that it was her choice and she chose Obsessed. So mom made me watch it. Just kidding. She enjoyed it and that is what really mattered to me. I on the other hand HATED it and I will tell you why.

As I'm sure you can tell from the trailer. The film revolves around Derek Charles played by the very talented but wasted Idris Elba. Most knows and Stringer Bell from The Wire. Derek is married to her former secretary Sharon played by the horrible Beyonce. I didn't see Dreamgirls but if this movie was designed for her to "branch out" and show her acting range then she needs to go back to the drawing board because flatly speaking. Beyonce can sing to the heavens but her acting is hellish. The 3rd player in this epic tale of crappy storytelling is Lisa played by Ali Larter from Heroes.

Lisa is a temp that works at Derek's investment firm and one very quick encounter in an elevator starts a chain of events that kicks in the mind games and obsession that Lisa has for Derek. That right there is the 1st of MANY problems this film has. There isn't ANY REAL REASON for Lisa to be obsessed with Derek aside from the physical attraction. The film NEVER explains why she's so into him. She just is. LAME, WEAK and LAZY WRITING!

Problem number 2 is the affair. Oh wait. THERE WASN'T ONE! How can you have a film where infidelity is the key ingredient in a thriller of this kind and not have it? Beats me but instead you only get a tease of sex between Derek and Lisa and it just comes off as a tease and once again LAME and WEAK! It almost felt like Loughery and Shill knew they were remaking Fatal Attraction so they tried to make it different by NOT PUTTING ANYTHING THAT MADE THAT MOVIE GOOD IN THEIR MOVIE! BRILLIANT! Why didn't I think of that?

I think I'll remake Spider-Man but instead of Peter Parker getting bit by a radioactive spider. I'll have him hit by a bus that throws him into a vat of toxic waste. Then I'll make him allergic to kryptonite.

Give me a break guys!

Problem number 3 is the cop. Detective Reese played by Christine Lahti. There is an incident that brings the police into the story and let me tell you. I don't remember seeing a dumber cop. The best example is at the end. Sharon and Lisa have their battle royale which was the only high point in the film. When the fight is over. In typical just in time to be late mode, Reese shows up just as Sharon walks out of the house. Her clothes are ripped, she has cuts all over and blood stains on her clothes and what's the 1st question Reese asks her?

Sharon...What happened here? YES! That's the actual line in the script.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

You know how people say...."There's no such thing as a stupid question."

Well in this case they are WRONG!

I think I'm going to create a new super hero and call him Captain Obvious. Every time someone asks a stupid question in a movie. The Captain will appear and just dropkick that person in the head. Just as a warning to NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! And then he will go to the person who wrote the script and dropkick him or her to teach them to never have their characters ask stupid questions.

The rest of the issues with the film revolve around the incoherent plot twists or attempts at plot twists. Combined with the terrible performances by the entire cast, which is a shame because with the exception of Beyonce the rest of the cast is filled with GOOD ACTORS. It's unfortunate that their talents are wasted.

The director Steve Shill truly is apply named. In a con a shill is one of the main parts used in order for the gag to work. They are there to reel you in and make you believe that you're not being played.

That's how I felt watching this movie. I was roped into thinking that I was going to see a fair remake of Fatal Attraction. I was played and as a result, I felt like being the bunny that Glenn Close boils in the pot.

On the 5 star scale. Obsessed gets the goose egg 0 stars. Maybe .5 a star for the cat fight at the end. And a "Save The Loot" recommendation. See Fatal Attraction again instead.

That's all for today.

My next review will be Angels & Demons. Another Dan Brown adaptation. The DaVinci Code was a disappointment. I'm hoping that they learned their lesson with what I thought was a better book.

Until Next Episode....I'll Save You A Seat!

"D"